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wBeverly's Journal |
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This is my Journal. If you stop by, leave a comment. Thanks!
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wJune 08, 2002 |
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Murph's closes at 4 on Saturdays. I have been back and forth all morning. I went to the drum major comp to see Claire at 9:30 am. Then, Steph and I went to Lorena's to do the pictures for tomorrow. Next, I went home to get some lunch. Then, I went back to Lorena's to do the aprons. They look okay... rainbow colors. I got back in time to see that Murph's was closed. Now, I am doing nothing in particular. Dinner tonight with Amy, the new SBM, 6:30.
posted by
Beverly at 4:46 PM
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wJune 07, 2002 |
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On the positive side for today, it was Senior Day. I got my yearbook with engraving, and my cap and gown. I felt like a celebrity, walking into the library... Mrs. Bird attacked me with all these glorious praises about my Student Board Member position and about Academic Awards night. Wow. I didn't know that would spark such a reaction. Signed yearbooks. I am not in any club pictures. Depressing. No senior ad. Bad picture. It's not looking good. Wow, I thought I couldn't be more depressed about myself right after banquet, but I even amaze myself sometimes.
posted by
Beverly at 11:19 PM
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Excuse the language, but I plain feel like crap tonight. Let us revisit another blogger entry... do you ever feel unappreciated? Well, it happens. See if Gary ever gets a ride anywhere again. I like that I have driven to and from Fullerton more than a few times... and that doesn't deserve any nod whatsoever. It's only a twenty minute/half hour or so drive one way. I only had to sit there, doing nothing, as he wasted time away on the computer, listening to Schroeder's collection of music. And, ask me the night of band banquet to drive to Fullerton to pick up a video? Smart. Leave your senior band banquet. Maybe if you didn't fiddle around with the music, you could have gotten it done sooner... but the fact that you stayed up all night deserves lavish praise from Schroeder. Seems like a case of procrastination if you ask me. You had an entire year to put together a video! And as for Sean... no, I can't even give him back his yearbook because the other people trying to order videos are more important. I only lugged around three yearbooks for fun, really. I only had to ask people to sign your guys' yearbooks because I wanted to! I can't even order my band video because you have to stop to take a picture for three pit girls who don't give a crap about you! What? Is taking a picture for them going to make them like you any better? How about doing one little thing to make someone feel so unappreciated that she would write such harsh words in her journal? And, those senior pics? Who took out the digital camera to capture those? Who saved them to disk, took them home, and emailed them? No... I didn't do anything for that video. It was all Gary and Sean... they cared more about the Hamlet movie than they did about the Band video. It's true. And, the recognition pours in. Yes, I am pissed off. You can tell by my language, because I don't use bad words on a regular basis. As for the "Outstanding Academician" award... no. Get rid of it. I feel so cheap. I don't deserve an award. I'm not a musician. I play flute... doesn't mean I'm good at it. I'm section leader; doesn't mean they listen to me. Why should I get a band award for a subject that isn't band related?! Take it off the band award list, and add it to the Academic Excellence Awards night. Basically, that award is for high GPA... that means that I spent more time on studies than I did on Band. Gee, thanks. I know I did, but don't rub it in. Maybe that's why I like Reed. There's NO BAND! Band is something I do... I love music... but that does nothing for a person who isn't good at music. Compose? Bah! I'm not good at that either! How does Mr. McKee grade those things?! I'm not even good at composition! I should have gone to art. Well... maybe I'm not right brained after all... arts are difficult for me. The only thing in band that makes me anything different than the rest when it comes to musicianship is the fact that I can add and do the math quickly. Sightreading for me is the thrill of music. The rhythms, the notes, all on the first try. Math. Maybe that's my calling. Not music. Why does Schroeder think my name even deserves to be on the list for the John Phillip Sousa? It doesn't. It doesn't belong on the best musician voting ballot, nor the best senior. And not even the best section leader. I may have had a chance a couple years ago, as librarian... but Tony took that award. Maybe that's what broke the camel's back... I felt that hard work went unrewarded in this band... at least under this voting system. It's a popularity contest. I worked my butt off that year... Tony helped out. Tony got the award. Fair? I think not. As secretary, I also worked hard... who got it? I don't even remember any more. But it just became clear that hard work would not pay off. As section leader, I could have done more. I did do some, though... and maybe not just music and marching, but in collection and in staging parties and sweaters, and everything in between. I maybe could have deserved that... but never music. Sean Dunnahoe deserves the musician award... Ashley, yes... I suck at music, and I wonder what gave Schroeder the impression that I was good at the flute. Because I played my scales on the second day of school freshman year? Perhaps... but that's practice, not skill. I can't keep up with the Mike Hacheys, the Heidi Badertschers, and the Kristina Petersons. I wasn't made for music... but I sure as hell want to stick to it... I don't think I could ever pull myself away from music... even if I am not the best... which brings me to another point. Doing too much stuff sucks. Take it from me. I am not the top person in ANYTHING I do... I am too stretched out... too busy... too tired. I can't do everything, and do everything perfectly. I just can't. Don't expect me to. I am disappointed for not getting anything but academician, but I know I didn't deserve the rest. Robert deserved something. Maybe even the Outstanding woodwind. I don't deserve a band award. I treated the band responsibilities like crap this year, and that's what I got back. I don't know which organization can honestly say that I gave it my all to that organization... none can because I split myself among ten or fifteen different groups... I maybe gave 25% or 50% in some... but not enough to excell. I don't even think that I read the mock trial case once through. With band, mock trial, and my duties this year as Student Board Rep, I just couldn't practice the way I used to. I am honestly sorry for Jupiter and for Italian. I sucked big time on those. I should have practiced, but IB got in the way. Band went straight to the bottom of my list of priorities in May... I just couldn't. Academician? May be, but one should first be a band diehard, before he/she gets any award at banquet. The Academician could be given out in any group at Loara... and would I sweep that? Probably, but that would mean nothing to me. I know I have a 4 point whatever... I don't need the band to tell me that. I am really upset. I can't pinpoint the exact reason. I know that I am just ticked off right now. I don't want to see that band plaque again. It's not worth "a post WWI German reichmark" to me.
posted by
Beverly at 11:15 PM
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wJune 04, 2002 |
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I'm at Schroeder's house right now. It's quite late. IB Banquet was tonight. Nice medals, but BACCALAUREATE is spelled wrong. Oh well, no one will know. (I guess no one but the people reading this right now). Angelo and Vinci's is beautifully decorated! The food is pretty good too!!! Well, going home now; CDs are done burning. Cashews and milk, here we come!
posted by
Beverly at 11:18 PM
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wJune 03, 2002 |
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WASHINGTON (May 30) - This week's report of buried oceans of ice on Mars may spur dreams of human missions to the Red Planet.
At its closest pass, Mars is about 34 million miles (55 million km) from Earth, but a spaceship's journey, using Earth's orbital velocity to give it a boost, would be closer to 300 million miles (483 million km). A round-trip tactical human mission to Mars, allowing for 30 days on the surface, would take a year, Garvin said. Before any humans go, robotic missions are expected to bring supplies and establish a beachhead. Still, Garvin said he believes it could be done in 20 to 40 years, given the requisite authorization and funding."If it doesn't happen in next 40 years, I would be disappointed,'' Garvin said.
From AOL News article by Deborah Zabarenko.
Wow, we may live to see men walk on Mars. How awesome is that?
On another subject, I went to UCLA today to see Christina's concert. She joined a gospel choir group. 140 people! Yikes! That's 1/9 the size of Reed's entire population!!! The Brazilian music before it was interesting, and was enjoyable at first. Then, it struck me that one doesn't need to understand music in order to bang on some Brazilian percussive instruments. Some didn't know what they were doing. Heck, the professor was the star of the show! It shouldn't be that way. As for the gospel group, it was throughly entertaining. I enjoyed the variety, even though some repetition existed; at least it didn't repeat for as long as the samba in the first group!!!
What else did I do today? I wrote my composition. It's simple and short, but it gets the job done. When I finished my composition, I realized that I had nothing else to do. That's a strange feeling. I don't know if I could handle not having anything to do. This summer, for instance, I have NOTHING scheduled as of now!!! Well, I do need sleep...
posted by
Beverly at 1:10 AM
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wJune 02, 2002 |
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I think I shall write my post for today right now, because if I don't, I'll never get offline to do my composition for Theory. It's going well. I like it. Maybe I'll get together a flute quartet at Reed to perform it. (Or not). I need to go graduation gift shopping... I have a perfect idea for gifts! :) Yay! Well, off to Finale.
posted by
Beverly at 12:59 PM
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