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wBeverly's Journal |
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This is my Journal. If you stop by, leave a comment. Thanks!
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wMay 11, 2002 |
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Wow... I have not written in this journal in 10 days. I do have a reason; really, I do. AP and IB testing is just brutal! Not brutal in the sense that they are impossible tests, because they aren't. It's just so grueling sitting through hours and hours of testing, then going home to study for the next one, then going to sleep late at night and expecting to be able to wake up in time to get to school by 7:30 for testing. I can probably say that I like the change that the IB tests give. For one, we're the same 22 people taking the IB tests... which is really cool because I can almost say that I am 100% confident that each person in IB knows each other person in IB. AP tests are not so (with the possible exception of French, which is a substantially smaller testing group than any other AP testing group in these two weeks). Shared moments. That's what it's all about. We 22 stuck together through it all; yes, we remember most, if not all, 90 or so who started IB with us four years ago. Shared moments... it's the times like last night that I will remember, even moreso, perhaps, than any Mock Trial competition or any band competition. It was actually quite funny, because we were sitting at Kunal's house (Alex, Kunal, and I), and we were doing our study guides for biology, and of course, we were talking about talking about that moment and other shared moments. And in that one instance, I realized that it really was the point of high school -- shared moments. I could have done those study guides anywhere, but it would have been no fun if there weren't two other classmates doing the same. And, to tell the truth, they kept me on task, too! I just know that I would have been asleep by 10 or so had I been at my house. ...Shared moments. Sitting in the auditorium after the IB biology test... not wanting to go back to class... talking about whatever. What is REAL life really like? Like books and studying or like friends and moments? When it comes down to it, the point in life is to be happy, right? Though studying would build up intellectual knowledge, it just can't bring the same joy as friendships. In the end, everything is nothing... death means nothingness. So, what's the point of life? To die with the most toys? But that won't do me very good... in death, all is nothing, so no matter how many toys I have, all will be worthless... except maybe the memory of me... How do I want to be remembered? As the bookworm who only studied? Or the friend? I really don't know... and I'm not sure if I care, because nothingness is just that -- I won't be able to think that I am nothing... This is all way to deep for me to think now... but I know that for the time being, it's the shared moments that are just great. I probably do a lot of things that I would rather not, just for the shared moments. I don't know if I really like the idea of playing a prank on Schroeder... it's not my sort of thing to do... but if my mind is set on it, I can do it... I can make myself do it. So, how did I convice myself to do it? I knew that it wasn't about the prank... it was the planning that would give me the shared moment that I was looking for. A shared moment is sitting with 10 other seniors in my room... planning what to do with Schroder's clothes and matresses. Shared moments that we can laugh about the time when Marc called Schroeder's room to pretend to be his "first wife." Lots and lots of shared moments in band. Lots and lots of shared moments in IB. Maybe that's why Mock Trial hasn't been successful in attracting and retaining members... we don't have enough shared moments. The thing that got me to stay? I enjoyed the kill. Well, I enjoy the speaking. Maybe not... maybe I stayed for the shared moments that were in my freshman year... it used to be so fun. The rain tradition... the Sundays when Max would be a total pop off and joke around... the weekdays during which we would go to obscure places on campus to memorize things... even just playing Catz on the computer with Pearl... we complained a lot about Mrs. Wilson to Mr. Z back then. Mock trial used to bring so many shared moments. I miss it. I wonder if I'll ever see the shared moments again... I probably will, but it will be a lot different. Reed isn't like that. Actually, the kind of shared moments I have enjoyed the most are the kinds where everyone is at an intellectual level (something past "Hi, how are you" and past talks about the movie last night, and talks past those about people)... I once read or heard that real intellectual geniuses talk about issues, not people or things. That's the kind of shared moments I'd like to see. I saw that when I was at Reed... maybe that's what interested me so much in Reed over Berkeley. The Berkeley campus has the shared moments, but their shared moments are more wild, more unrefined, and maybe even similar to those in high school. Reed seems so much more mature... minus the marijuana. Three words: substance free dorm. I don't know how I got to writing about this... but I'm so brain dead now after only 5 tests... I need major sleep. Tonight is the spaghetti dinner, and tomorrow is PROM! Schedule for tomorrow: 6:30 am history review. 11 am nails. Past noon: hair at Teresa's. Pictures at school. Dinner at 7. Prom after dinner. Fun fun! :)
05/10/2002 2:24 PM
posted by
Beverly at 12:16 AM
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